By Prasanna Chandran, M.D., family medicine.

Q: Is the stress of parenting feeling out of control?

It’s not just you. So many parents are feeling stressed out that in 2024, the U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory on “Parents Under Pressure.” The report details the effects of parenting stress on mental health and well-being.

On top of the traditional challenges, the report points out, today’s parents face new financial strains, time demands, social media issues, concerns about children’s mental health and safety, loneliness, and high cultural expectations. “Chasing these un-reasonable expectations has left many families feeling exhausted, burned out and perpetually behind,” writes Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, M.D.

In addition to policy and cultural changes, the report recommends actions that we all can take to help ease the burdens of parenting.

Q: What can parents do?

Care for yourself: It can be hard to prioritize yourself while raising kids, but your well-being has a direct effect on theirs, says the report.

• Control your stress through sleep, exercise and activities that bring joy.
• Set healthy boundaries that protect your “me time,” without guilt.
• No parent is perfect — be compassionate and forgiving with yourself.

Connect with other parents: Seek out and nurture relationships with other parents. Create a supportive community where you can share feelings, challenges and concerns, and learn from each other’s experiences.

Protect your mental health: “If you feel bad and are not getting better,” says the report, ”you need and deserve additional care.” Don’t be afraid to ask for it — whether from a friend or a mental health professional.

Q: What can friends and family members do?

Offer practical support: Help with chores, errands and child care, and look for other ways to give parents a break so they can take care of their own needs and appointments.

Connect: Include parents in your routine, check in regularly, and offer a “steady, supportive presence” by listening with empathy and no judgment.

Watch for distress: If you see signs of distress (anxiety, fatigue, anger, isolation, reduced productivity, eating or sleeping changes), offer support or suggest a visit to a health provider

Q: How can your health care team help?

The Portland Clinic cares for you as a whole person — body, mind and spirit. If your spirits are sagging under the weight of parenting stress, your primary care provider can connect you with our behavioral health team for support. Parenting issues are one of our behavioral health specialties, and we’re here to help.

Dr. Chandran sees patients at The Portland Clinic-Beaverton.